I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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