I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
