i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
