Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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