I want to stick my p in your. b.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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