Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
