so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
