i don't like sucking hair
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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