Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
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How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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