So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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