sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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