It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
