just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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