I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
