The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
everyone is single if you try hard enough
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize