I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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