I heard we made out
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
