I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
