Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
