Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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