Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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