What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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