Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
