i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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