dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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