No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
