He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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