just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's just like the Real World with babies
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
