I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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