I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
