I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize