dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
