You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
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