I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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