ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
