Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
