So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
