i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
