We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
