Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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