Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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