Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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