i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize