Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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