So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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