hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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