I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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