They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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