I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize