My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
