Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
