Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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