Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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