Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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