If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
