You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
