No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
