dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
