She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
