So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
