ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
