i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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